Tomorrow would have been my mother's 40th birthday. I don't know how I really feel about that. I don't grieve a lot in public anymore over the loss of my mother. Actually I don't really grieve over the loss of her at all. Every once in a while I might have a pang of sadness. It is rare for me to break down in grief. But I do miss her every second of every day.
Sometimes if she would walk by, I would just walk up to her and hug her. Sometimes she would do the same for me. Most of the time we never said anything, just the hug and we would keep walking or doing what we were doing. That was our thing.
I remember 12 years ago (ish) one Halloween, my mom was 7 months pregnant. My sisters were tired, but I still wanted to trick or treat. She didn't get mad at me or say no, she just took me around. Afterward it was obvious that her back and her feet hurt. She didn't make me feel bad about it. She just did it to make me happy.
I remember when I brought ...home my white high school graduation robes. She smiled and said "FINALLY!"
Even in October, just 2 1/2 months before she died, it was the week of my 19th birthday. I had awful pain in my face from a cyst above my left front tooth and bad headaches because of my wisdom teeth. I was on vicodin the whole weekend and then on Monday I had a 2 (ish) hour last minute root canal done. It was painful and scary, but then three days later, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. The only thing I remember that Thursday when I got them pulled was my mom saying she was happy she finally got to take care of me in some way. She rubbed my back while I cried because my face hurt so stinking bad and I was confused because of the pain meds. She comforted me when I cried because I thought I wouldn't be able to go on a mission because they had pulled all the teeth in my mouth out (true story, I actually thought I had all my teeth pulled out and that I wouldn't be able to go anymore.). She bought applesauce and helped me eat it for four days.
I don't grieve, because I have all these memories. I had my time on earth with my mom. And now I get to look forward to my time with my mom in the Celestial Kingdom because I know that families are forever. That when we die, and others die, we are not gone. We don't just vanish, neither do our souls or our spirits. We are judged according to our works on earth. So I know that I will see my mom again because I will work hard to make sure I do.
For this reason, I don't have any regrets. I know my mom knew I loved her.
Sometimes if she would walk by, I would just walk up to her and hug her. Sometimes she would do the same for me. Most of the time we never said anything, just the hug and we would keep walking or doing what we were doing. That was our thing.
I remember 12 years ago (ish) one Halloween, my mom was 7 months pregnant. My sisters were tired, but I still wanted to trick or treat. She didn't get mad at me or say no, she just took me around. Afterward it was obvious that her back and her feet hurt. She didn't make me feel bad about it. She just did it to make me happy.
I remember when I brought ...home my white high school graduation robes. She smiled and said "FINALLY!"
Even in October, just 2 1/2 months before she died, it was the week of my 19th birthday. I had awful pain in my face from a cyst above my left front tooth and bad headaches because of my wisdom teeth. I was on vicodin the whole weekend and then on Monday I had a 2 (ish) hour last minute root canal done. It was painful and scary, but then three days later, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. The only thing I remember that Thursday when I got them pulled was my mom saying she was happy she finally got to take care of me in some way. She rubbed my back while I cried because my face hurt so stinking bad and I was confused because of the pain meds. She comforted me when I cried because I thought I wouldn't be able to go on a mission because they had pulled all the teeth in my mouth out (true story, I actually thought I had all my teeth pulled out and that I wouldn't be able to go anymore.). She bought applesauce and helped me eat it for four days.
I don't grieve, because I have all these memories. I had my time on earth with my mom. And now I get to look forward to my time with my mom in the Celestial Kingdom because I know that families are forever. That when we die, and others die, we are not gone. We don't just vanish, neither do our souls or our spirits. We are judged according to our works on earth. So I know that I will see my mom again because I will work hard to make sure I do.
For this reason, I don't have any regrets. I know my mom knew I loved her.
во имя Иисуса Христа, аминь.
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