Hello friends... 22 more days left...

Hello everyone. I am just going to admit right now, I am a bad blogger. I promised to post everyday and I did not. Also, I attempted to vlog, and it stunk.
So I am going to blog as often as I can and not vlog ever. :)

I will tell you what I did today. It didn't involve any mission prep at all. Just learning how to talk to people I don't know and come out of my shy shell a little.

I went to a YSA Memorial day BBQ with a good friend. I did not know very many people at all, but I ended up making some friends. And having a lot of fun. We ate first, then we went inside and played these awkward "team building" games. One of them was where there were two lines of people. In each line, there was a pattern of "boy girl, boy girl". We each got a tootpick. Then a mint started off in front of the two lines. The object was to pass on the mint (Lifesaver wintermint) with just the toothpick. But here was the rough part: we could not hold the toothpick with anything but our mouths. It was awkward and you were close enough to the person you were receiving the mint from or giving the mint to, to kiss them. Seriously. It was too close for words. I don't think I have ever been that close to a guy's face before without kissing them or them kissing me. But that's besides the point.
Then we played volleyball, which was a ton of fun. After that, a few of us went to menchies, a frozen yogurt place by the JCPenney where I used to work. Then we met another friend to go see star trek. My friend was so sweet and paid for my ticket. He didn't have to, but he did. It's so nice to see a man with manners.
So there you have it. I did however, get my space bags, address book, face lotion, and tide to go sticks today. So that means tomorrow I will probably start doing some packing. As in packing my clothes into my suitcase... but I mean I really have 22 days left. I might just wait until next week.
It's crazy. Only 3 weeks left.
3 weeks.
3.

Right now I am so super tired, but I will leave you with a spiritual thought.
Here is what I have been thinking about this weekend... relationships and marriage. If you're a church leader and you're reading this... hear me out and don't freak out before you read what I have to say.

I believe that a relationship should be based on mutual trust and love. Otherwise it's pointless. I personally have only dated 2 non LDS members in my entire life. Does that mean I don't trust non members? No. It means that I simply want someone who shares my values and love and affinity for the gospel. I know the church is true and I know that I want to be married in the temple and raise my children in the gospel. I know it is the way to having a happy family.

I personally believe that no relationship is complete without Christ. You must must MUST live the gospel even and perhaps - especially in relationships and dating.

I will broaden it even further. With ANYTHING you do, you must center it on love, trust, and the gospel. Or, Christ. When I do this I am much happier and successful in the instance.

I'm really so so so tired. I've been up for 18 hours, doing a ton the whole day. I'm sorry if that spiritual thought doesn't make sense. It may not. But that's what's on my mind at the moment.

Spiritual thought for today

Tomorrow would have been my mother's 40th birthday. I don't know how I really feel about that. I don't grieve a lot in public anymore over the loss of my mother. Actually I don't really grieve over the loss of her at all. Every once in a while I might have a pang of sadness. It is rare for me to break down in grief. But I do miss her every second of every day.
Sometimes if she would walk by, I would just walk up to her and hug her. Sometimes she would do the same for me. Most of the time we never said anything, just the hug and we would keep walking or doing what we were doing. That was our thing.
I remember 12 years ago (ish) one Halloween, my mom was 7 months pregnant. My sisters were tired, but I still wanted to trick or treat. She didn't get mad at me or say no, she just took me around. Afterward it was obvious that her back and her feet hurt. She didn't make me feel bad about it. She just did it to make me happy.
I remember when I brought ...home my white high school graduation robes. She smiled and said "FINALLY!"
Even in October, just 2 1/2 months before she died, it was the week of my 19th birthday. I had awful pain in my face from a cyst above my left front tooth and bad headaches because of my wisdom teeth. I was on vicodin the whole weekend and then on Monday I had a 2 (ish) hour last minute root canal done. It was painful and scary, but then three days later, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. The only thing I remember that Thursday when I got them pulled was my mom saying she was happy she finally got to take care of me in some way. She rubbed my back while I cried because my face hurt so stinking bad and I was confused because of the pain meds. She comforted me when I cried because I thought I wouldn't be able to go on a mission because they had pulled all the teeth in my mouth out (true story, I actually thought I had all my teeth pulled out and that I wouldn't be able to go anymore.). She bought applesauce and helped me eat it for four days.
I don't grieve, because I have all these memories. I had my time on earth with my mom. And now I get to look forward to my time with my mom in the Celestial Kingdom because I know that families are forever. That when we die, and others die, we are not gone. We don't just vanish, neither do our souls or our spirits. We are judged according to our works on earth. So I know that I will see my mom again because I will work hard to make sure I do.
For this reason, I don't have any regrets. I know my mom knew I loved her.

во имя Иисуса Христа, аминь.

Oops I keep forgetting to post... Day 18 of 48

I have 30 days left...
And I can't even begin to describe how happy I will be to be on my mission. I am so excited.
As of today, I only need to buy these things:
-umbrella
-shoe polish kit
-passport holder
-22V converter
-carry on bag

You guys, my list is SO SMALL now. It makes me so happy to have all of that crossed off and out of the way. But I am so low on funds that I don't think I'll be able to pay for the actual mission part at all. I saved and saved but I didn't have a lot of money that I earned at work to begin with.

I've done so much the past week to get ready to go. I bought so much and I went to the temple again on Thursday. I love the temple. I can't wait to go again.

I need to study like crazy on my scriptures. I also need to get my two shots done this week or next.

I seriously cannot wait to go. I'm so excited. I only have one more month. My plaque has already been ordered and delivered to my bishop too. I get to see it either Wednesday night or this sunday. I still need to choose a picture, but oh my gosh. This is all becoming so real. It makes me extremely happy.

I haven't tried any new hairstyles yet. My bangs are growing out nicely so I will be able to just tuck them entirely behind my ear soon. Which will be nice. That will make things easier.

I gained a lot of weight this past month. I think I may have mentioned that before. But today I don't even feel like eating at all. Ever since I ran a 5k race on Saturday, (which by the way, I did not get last place :), I think I've only eaten 3 times. Out of 7 meals already passed, I've only eaten two meals and one snack. I'm trying to be healthy. But I'm just not hungry. I think it's nerves and excitement about going to Russia.

Well, that's all I really have. But I found this really cool resource for sister missionaries to find good bags. Here's the link:

http://giftsformormons.com/?tag=sister-missionary-bags

I actually bought one of the bags listed there.

Spiritual thoughts, at midnight.

So I started my Book of Mormon reading the other night. I am in chapter three of Nephi right now. So far, Nephi's family has fled from Jerusalem because the Jews sought after Lehi's life. Lehi had seen a vision of a pillar of fire. He foretold the coming of Christ and the destruction of the wicked people in Jerusalem. Now they are taking the journey into the wilderness. That's as far as I've gotten as of right now.
I was thinking about how small scripture verses can have profound meaning. For example, the shortest verse in the Book of Mormon is in the second chapter, when it says "and my father dwelt in a tent". This scripture shows humility, faith, and love all at once. I will prove it to you by using examples in the BOM so far in just two chapters.
Humility.
Nephi's family had gave up their valuables (gold, silver, precious things) to follow their father into the wilderness. I have been camping, and I have lived in a house. I have to say, given the choice most people would live in the house. Lehi chose to follow the counsel and promptings of the Lord, and in doing so, he humbled himself to the point where he dwelled in a tent. Not many men (or women) would do the same.
Therefore...

Faith.
Great faith is shown by Lehi. He prayed and shared with others. He wished for his sons to follow him and his counsel; and also to follow God and His counsel. He had faith that this was the path to follow to protect himself and his family. He had faith that if he left his comforts in Jerusalem, that the Lord would bless him.

Love.
Obviously Lehi is a great father. He fled Jerusalem with his family. One verse that shows how much he loves his family is in 2:4 "And he left his house, and the land of his inheritance, and his gold, and his silver, and his precious things, and took nothing with him, save it were his family, and provisions, and tents, and ^adeparted into the wilderness."
It compares his family to the gold and silver and precious things... his inheritance and his home... to his family. And shows that he chose family over all of those things of temporal worth because family is of celestial worth.

I know that Lehi was inspired of God to do these things and I know that following his example of making sacrifices and humbling ourselves as missionaries to do the work of the Lord and uplift others and protect others, will bring us blessings. It is what the Lord wants of us as missionaries and as latter-day saints.

во имя Иисуса Христа, аминь.

Day 12 of 48... Sorry. I've negelected you.

I'm sorry my lovies. I've neglected you with spiritual thoughts, tips and stories.
For shame.

So I'll make it up to you with two extra long and packed posts. k? k. :)

Sunday was pretty good this week. The hymns were lovely and I did pretty well leading the congregation this week. (By the way, if possible learn how to lead hymns before you go, you never know when you might help the ward out!) The topics of course were centered around mothers so it was a little awkward for me, but I loved it. The primary sang beautifully and so did the priesthood. I don't remember what they sang, but it was great. This sunday made me really excited to be a mom in the future.
As far as preparing, I re-evaluated my to do and to buy lists. I got to cross a lot off of both (Hooray!) I bought comfortable, black, leather shoes for super cheap off of 6pm.com (seriously check it out sisters.) I am still waiting on that skirt and that coat to come from when I ordered online, but I know they'll show soon.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is my last day at work, therefore I will only get one more small paycheck, so I really have to stretch my money and make it last so I can get all of the initial costs paid (clothes, incidentals, etc.) I worked really hard and so far I have paid for almost all of my packing list myself. I am very proud because all of this stuff together is expensive. But I've stretched it and found good quality stuff and found really good bargains. I'm worried about that last paycheck though. I know I will have about 100 dollars and honestly, I don't know how much that will cover.
But I will pray and I know that it will all be okay and it will all turn out. I've worked hard and saved so I could buy all this stuff for the mission. So I know it will not be a wasted effort.

Hmmm... what else...

Oh yeah! So I have been studying up on my Russian quite a bit. A friend at work taught me to say "thank you." and tonight I learned how to say "Rice, woman, swim, run, water, yes, no, dog, and cat". I also learned that the sound for "and" in between listing things in a sentence is pronounced the same way it is in Spanish "ee". It's a backwards N, but it's the same sound.

My best friend, Elder Johnson, is in Ukraine right now on his mission. In fact, his mission (Donetsk, Ukraine) is the mission right next to mine. We are going to be speaking the same language. So on Mother's day, his family taped him talking in Russian a little. He said basically "Hello, thank you mothers for all you do. Happy Mothers day." I recognized "Hello" and "thank you"! It's so exciting to hear and recognize words in another language. I do really need to work on my pronunciation though.

Advice I have for you today... hmm... I know that for me, I have been a little angsty and irritated lately. Especially toward my family. It's hard having two teenage sisters in the house. It really is. But I need to get over myself and act civil because even though they do things that hurt my feelings and irritate me, they are family. And I bet I do things that irritate them. (I don't try to, I've come a long way and learned how to be mature in that sense.) I'm not perfect, so I can't expect them to be.
SO my advice is, you have a short time with your family while you are preparing for your mission. Don't be so sensitive or irritable. I know, easier said than done. When you're on your mission you only get 2 phone calls or Skype calls a year. You get to email once a week and write whenever you want, but it is nothing compared to the contact you have right now with them. Don't take it for granted.

I'll post a spiritual thought in the next post. Thank you for reading my blog. I have had so many pageviews this week! Almost 200 in 7 days. That's more than any other blog I've produced. Thank you thank you, and please as always, feel free to post comments with questions or suggestions or tips you might have.

Spiritual thought

I hope this makes sense to more people than me, it's 4 minutes to midnight and I'm really tired.
A coworker of mine asked when I leave for Russia. I told him in July or August, after I am at the MTC to prepare. He was really rude and asked in a rude tone "why would you go to Utah, that doesn't make any sense."
It made me think of the opposition we face as Latter Day Saints. I once was walking into a temple and there were actually people protesting our religion.
We are going to face a lot of opposition because Satan will work hard to drive people to hate us or our beliefs. Because He knows the truth, but he is unable to live as we are and he will be unable to live with God or in Celestial Glory.
He will work hard to bring us down.
All we can do is love one another and love our fellow man. That's the ultimate commandment that will lead us closer to God.
It will be hard, but seriously, we just have to endure. Stay true to who we are and what we know and love. Stick close to the spirit.
I know this to be truth.
во имя Иисуса Христа, аминь.

Day 8 of 48

Hello again.
So when I went through the temple in April, I got 10 garment sets of Carinessa 2s. They are absolutely great, as I've mentioned before, and I highly recommend them to all sisters. But today I also bought one thermal top garment and one mesh top garment. I am going to try these out, because I will be in Utah June through August when it's really hot. It also gets really humid during the summer in Samara, Russia. And I want to try the thermal garment. I might just buy a few of those instead of buying all long underwear.
Anyway, so I ordered those and a new mini preach my gospel because I left mine behind in Sunriver, Oregon on a vacation by mistake.
So those should be here next week or the week after.
I have checked one more thing off my to do list!! :)
Today I am going to get a few more things done as well. I need to buy pajamas because it turns out I really don't have any. I sleep in jeans or just garments. That's just what's comfortable for me.
So when I go to work tonight at 4:30, I need to buy those.

Now here's something I'm embarrassed to talk about. I have gained a lot of weight since I got my call. I usually gain weight when I am really stressed. My mother passed away in January and then I got my call. And I've been working almost 40 hours a week for the past two months. I also petsat and babysat in between. Funds are still stressing me out. I still need to get my driver's license...
the list goes on.
Anyway, I've been going to the gym at least 3 times a week for about two months as well, but my diet has not been very healthy. I eat out a lot because I am doing so much during the day that I forget to make a sandwich or something for lunch at work. The three closest places to eat are Sonic, Burger King, and Five Guys Burgers. So I usually end up going there last minute. However, I'm trying to be better about it. I love to ride my bike to work and I love subway. I'm a huge sandwich fan. So today after I get my laundry done and get ready for work, I am going early at about 3 so I can stop by a grocery store on the way and get something healthier.
I have been told that since there are so little members in Russia, there won't be many dinner appointments. Plus, I'm a picky eater. So I have been told that most of the sisters lose a lot of weight when they go.
So I am going to try very hard to get healthy before I go.

I'll get off work at 10 PM (Washington state time...?) so when I get home, I'll post a spiritual thought.