Today I had my open house. I was expecting maybe a few people to come, but tons showed up. It was so nice. I felt very loved and I was so happy to see everyone that came. I have some very loving friends in my life. They feel so much like family.
I am so excited to serve my mission. I am truly 100% grateful for this opportunity. I think even since I got my call in February, I feel a lot more humbled by this opportunity. I am so blessed to be able to go and to have so much support from my dad, friends, and members of my ward.
I have been thinking a lot lately about "what if's" I know we all do it. We imagine and try to picture our lives if we had made a different decision somewhere in the past. Maybe we think our lives would be better. Maybe we think we are stupid for not making that decision or not saying something when we should have. I know for me I feel like if I had treated one of my friends differently, we might still be talking right now. I miss talking with him and hearing how his days are and just in general hearing the simple day to day things that we talked about. But I realize that I cannot change the past. Yes, I have grown since then. But even though I have changed and am really a whole lot different now than I was 2 years ago, and even a year ago, I still cannot change who I was in the past. And you know what?
That's okay.
Why?
Because I'm human.
The only thing I can do now is move forward and work hard to continue to progress in a positive way. I feel like I am absolutely headed in the right direction with my life. I have grown and overcome trials that I never thought I would be able to overcome. I am not trying to show off or boast. I am merely stating that what I thought was impossible became possible because I kept the faith. I endured to the end, prayed hard, fasted, lived as obediently as I could, served others when I could, etc. I went through a lot of trials you guys. I mean, a lot. There were many days where all I wanted to do was not face the world and to get back in bed and stay in my warm covers. I didn't want to face those hard times. But if we don't go out and face those difficult things, we don't grow. If we stay where we are comfortable, we do not progress. Or at least, we do not get very far.
It was not easy, it still isn't. There were many tears shed and so many many many prayers said.
That's another thing. I struggle to remember to pray when I wake up, before meals, and before bed. I pray a lot during the day and I give thanks where it is due and sometimes just because. But I always struggle to remember those three times during the day. That is something I need to improve on because I think maybe I could be getting some revelations or some insight or maybe even just good feelings that would make my days easier and more worthwhile.
This is all just stuff that's on my mind at the moment. I have so much to be grateful for. I love my ward and my friends. I am so grateful to them. I wouldn't be who I am without Heavenly Father or without those people in my life. I truly believe that with all my heart.
I may not get the chance to write again on this blog before I go. I will try, but in case I forget...
Thank you for reading. I am so blessed to have a HUGE audience that reads this blog. I don't get a lot of comments, but I know you are reading because of the pageviews I have received since I started this blog in April. I hope if you are preparing for a mission that I have helped at least a little in some small way. I really loved blogging and wish I had had more time to commit to it. If you would like to hear how I do on my mission, please email me at ashleighrobynb@gmail.com. I will email you the same group email I do every week on my mission. And if you would like, I would also love to write letters to you. So send me your emails/ physical addresses.
Thanks again. I love my readers!
Cheers,
cectpa Bonazelli.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Spiritual thoughts
I am currently listening to this talk today:
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/pride-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng#watch=video
It is about pride. I know it is a priesthood session talk, but I fully believe that it applies to sisters as well.
I have heard a lot of very interesting and clarifying points in this talk.
I have nothing to say about it except that we all struggle with pride in different ways. Therefore the only spiritual thought or advice I can give, is to read this talk or listen to it.
I adore this talk. I am going to print it out and take it with me and read it often on my mission. I hope that you all take this message seriously too in serving the Lord.
My friend who is serving in Ukraine recently said in one of his letters that his companion is Russian and the Russians/Ukrainians (some of them anyway) are a little racist toward gypsies. So this Elder refuses to teach the gypsies. That is a big example of pride.
I think he could really use this talk so I am going to send it to my friend and suggest it.
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/pride-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng#watch=video
It is about pride. I know it is a priesthood session talk, but I fully believe that it applies to sisters as well.
I have heard a lot of very interesting and clarifying points in this talk.
I have nothing to say about it except that we all struggle with pride in different ways. Therefore the only spiritual thought or advice I can give, is to read this talk or listen to it.
I adore this talk. I am going to print it out and take it with me and read it often on my mission. I hope that you all take this message seriously too in serving the Lord.
My friend who is serving in Ukraine recently said in one of his letters that his companion is Russian and the Russians/Ukrainians (some of them anyway) are a little racist toward gypsies. So this Elder refuses to teach the gypsies. That is a big example of pride.
I think he could really use this talk so I am going to send it to my friend and suggest it.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
My farewell talk, and 10 days left
Today I did my farewell talk because next sunday is father's day and I didn't want to take up the father's day meeting.
But today was one of the best days at church I've had in so long. I absolutely adored it. Almost half of my previous ward came to see me, and so many of my non member friends also came. It meant so much to me. Our ward was recently split, and so we haven't had enough people to open up the cultural hall since January or February. It was so cool to see so many people there to support me.
I didn't write out my talk on the computer yet, but I will post it later tonight or tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will be into the single digits in my countdown. I am so stinking excited. It is crunch time. Time to get everything together.
:)
But today was one of the best days at church I've had in so long. I absolutely adored it. Almost half of my previous ward came to see me, and so many of my non member friends also came. It meant so much to me. Our ward was recently split, and so we haven't had enough people to open up the cultural hall since January or February. It was so cool to see so many people there to support me.
I didn't write out my talk on the computer yet, but I will post it later tonight or tomorrow.
Tomorrow I will be into the single digits in my countdown. I am so stinking excited. It is crunch time. Time to get everything together.
:)
Friday, June 7, 2013
12 more days!!!!
While packing up the clothes I won't need and doing all my laundry tonight, I was thinking about the little things that missionaries probably miss in packing. I know that my booklet doesn't tell you everything you need to bring. And I know that there are definitely necessary items that they don't mention in the booklets.
For example:
They don't often tell you how much feminine hygiene product you need to bring. I am not sure what there is in my mission, but I know that if Russian women can live off of what's there, then so can I. So I am just bringing enough for my stay at the MTC, and once I get to Russia, I will see what's there. If worst comes to worst, I will just have someone ship me some.
Fingernail clippers/nail file.
exercise equipment (I am bringing resistance bands. They work well to build arm muscle and you can use them to develop leg muscle with certain exercises.)
There are probably a couple other things, but they aren't coming to mind immediately.
Also, I learned that retail was the best industry to work in before my mission. I saved enough to pay for all my upfront costs (clothes, luggage, toiletries, shoes, bag, passport, garments, etc.)
While most of my paychecks went to buying clothes that I liked there. Which was also good because I was inadvertently stocking up for a wardrobe for after my mission. I just packed all the clothes that I didn't need for the next 11 days or the 18 months to follow. Trust me, I have almost a whole wardrobe.
My farewell is this sunday even though I leave on the 19th. So tonight my other project will be to pack up my entire room except for a couple things. Then tomorrow, I will write the rest of my talk. I will also probably end up having to get my two shots done tomorrow. Ugh. Oh well.
That's really all I have for you tonight. I have a ton to do. I did get a request to show you my shoes and where I got them from. They are lined up in the garage next to my suitcase so I will work on that for my post tomorrow.
12 more days.... choosh..? Nyet! :)
For example:
They don't often tell you how much feminine hygiene product you need to bring. I am not sure what there is in my mission, but I know that if Russian women can live off of what's there, then so can I. So I am just bringing enough for my stay at the MTC, and once I get to Russia, I will see what's there. If worst comes to worst, I will just have someone ship me some.
Fingernail clippers/nail file.
exercise equipment (I am bringing resistance bands. They work well to build arm muscle and you can use them to develop leg muscle with certain exercises.)
There are probably a couple other things, but they aren't coming to mind immediately.
Also, I learned that retail was the best industry to work in before my mission. I saved enough to pay for all my upfront costs (clothes, luggage, toiletries, shoes, bag, passport, garments, etc.)
While most of my paychecks went to buying clothes that I liked there. Which was also good because I was inadvertently stocking up for a wardrobe for after my mission. I just packed all the clothes that I didn't need for the next 11 days or the 18 months to follow. Trust me, I have almost a whole wardrobe.
My farewell is this sunday even though I leave on the 19th. So tonight my other project will be to pack up my entire room except for a couple things. Then tomorrow, I will write the rest of my talk. I will also probably end up having to get my two shots done tomorrow. Ugh. Oh well.
That's really all I have for you tonight. I have a ton to do. I did get a request to show you my shoes and where I got them from. They are lined up in the garage next to my suitcase so I will work on that for my post tomorrow.
12 more days.... choosh..? Nyet! :)
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Russian is a difficult language.
You guys, Russian is a HARD language.
I took 3 languages in high school and all of them were cake compared to Russian. I took Japanese, Spanish, and American Sign Language.
But today, even just making new flashcards for myself, I had kind of a break through.
I know languages don't really stick until you get out in the field and start actually speaking it. And I have heard many times "if you dream in the language, you've mastered it, or are fluent". Neither of those has happened yet, however, after a month of studying, the alphabet it starting to come much easier to me. I can read words really well, even if I don't know what they mean. There are still a couple letters I struggle to grasp, but I know if I study hard the next few days that I will be able to get those into my noggin.
I am getting better with pronunciation, although it is one of the hardest parts for me. I recently had a lot of work done on my teeth, including two crowns put on my front teeth. The dentist straightened them pretty well in the process too. I am still trying to get used to my straight front teeth so when I talk sometimes I have a lisp or my tongue just gets jumbled. Working on that as well!
But so far I love the Russian language. It sounds so cool. And when I hear something on TV or out in public about Russia, I immediately turn my head to listen. And when I hear a language that sounds like Russian, I try to listen and catch words I know.
Lets see... what else. Oh right! I am sorting through all of my clothes today. I have 18 days left so I am packing my entire room except for what is absolutely necessary to keep out. So I will take pictures of my mission clothes and combinations and I will post a collage of sorts later on. I have found that it really helps to see what other sisters are planning on bringing. However, I will not be putting on my sweater tights or my light coat. I will put the shoes on to see what shoes go with the outfits though.
I am so excited to get out into the MTC. I can hardly believe it is only 2 1/2 weeks away. My farewell talk is only 8 days away! Oooh... I have to write that...
I am a little sad that I only have three sundays left in my calling though. I LOVE this calling. Ward chorister is so much fun. I have gotten to choose the hymns and have gotten to lead the music and hear the congregation sing. It's so spiritually uplifting. I might even cry on the closing hymn on June 16th. That will be my last day in the ward.
It's so insane. Three months ago I was waiting and running to the mailbox everyday before and after work. Now I am about to ACTUALLY go to Russia. I feel like it is the perfect mission for me. I know Russian is the language I really needed to learn because there is a high population of Russian speakers around where I live. I know I can get a job really easily with the knowledge of this language.
My mind can hardly comprehend what I am about to do. Right now it can't even comprehend how excited it is. I feel on top of the world, even with all the stress.
I am going to the temple again this week with a friend. I can't wait. I love the temple. I have been thinking of some answers I need in the scriptures and in just life in general and I think going to the temple this week will be the best thing for me.
So, I will post my outfit combinations later today. I will also make sure that I write a spiritual tidbit. I think I'll also post the hymns that my ward is going to do tomorrow.
I took 3 languages in high school and all of them were cake compared to Russian. I took Japanese, Spanish, and American Sign Language.
But today, even just making new flashcards for myself, I had kind of a break through.
I know languages don't really stick until you get out in the field and start actually speaking it. And I have heard many times "if you dream in the language, you've mastered it, or are fluent". Neither of those has happened yet, however, after a month of studying, the alphabet it starting to come much easier to me. I can read words really well, even if I don't know what they mean. There are still a couple letters I struggle to grasp, but I know if I study hard the next few days that I will be able to get those into my noggin.
I am getting better with pronunciation, although it is one of the hardest parts for me. I recently had a lot of work done on my teeth, including two crowns put on my front teeth. The dentist straightened them pretty well in the process too. I am still trying to get used to my straight front teeth so when I talk sometimes I have a lisp or my tongue just gets jumbled. Working on that as well!
But so far I love the Russian language. It sounds so cool. And when I hear something on TV or out in public about Russia, I immediately turn my head to listen. And when I hear a language that sounds like Russian, I try to listen and catch words I know.
Lets see... what else. Oh right! I am sorting through all of my clothes today. I have 18 days left so I am packing my entire room except for what is absolutely necessary to keep out. So I will take pictures of my mission clothes and combinations and I will post a collage of sorts later on. I have found that it really helps to see what other sisters are planning on bringing. However, I will not be putting on my sweater tights or my light coat. I will put the shoes on to see what shoes go with the outfits though.
I am so excited to get out into the MTC. I can hardly believe it is only 2 1/2 weeks away. My farewell talk is only 8 days away! Oooh... I have to write that...
I am a little sad that I only have three sundays left in my calling though. I LOVE this calling. Ward chorister is so much fun. I have gotten to choose the hymns and have gotten to lead the music and hear the congregation sing. It's so spiritually uplifting. I might even cry on the closing hymn on June 16th. That will be my last day in the ward.
It's so insane. Three months ago I was waiting and running to the mailbox everyday before and after work. Now I am about to ACTUALLY go to Russia. I feel like it is the perfect mission for me. I know Russian is the language I really needed to learn because there is a high population of Russian speakers around where I live. I know I can get a job really easily with the knowledge of this language.
My mind can hardly comprehend what I am about to do. Right now it can't even comprehend how excited it is. I feel on top of the world, even with all the stress.
I am going to the temple again this week with a friend. I can't wait. I love the temple. I have been thinking of some answers I need in the scriptures and in just life in general and I think going to the temple this week will be the best thing for me.
So, I will post my outfit combinations later today. I will also make sure that I write a spiritual tidbit. I think I'll also post the hymns that my ward is going to do tomorrow.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Hello friends... 22 more days left...
Hello everyone. I am just going to admit right now, I am a bad blogger. I promised to post everyday and I did not. Also, I attempted to vlog, and it stunk.
So I am going to blog as often as I can and not vlog ever. :)
I will tell you what I did today. It didn't involve any mission prep at all. Just learning how to talk to people I don't know and come out of my shy shell a little.
I went to a YSA Memorial day BBQ with a good friend. I did not know very many people at all, but I ended up making some friends. And having a lot of fun. We ate first, then we went inside and played these awkward "team building" games. One of them was where there were two lines of people. In each line, there was a pattern of "boy girl, boy girl". We each got a tootpick. Then a mint started off in front of the two lines. The object was to pass on the mint (Lifesaver wintermint) with just the toothpick. But here was the rough part: we could not hold the toothpick with anything but our mouths. It was awkward and you were close enough to the person you were receiving the mint from or giving the mint to, to kiss them. Seriously. It was too close for words. I don't think I have ever been that close to a guy's face before without kissing them or them kissing me. But that's besides the point.
Then we played volleyball, which was a ton of fun. After that, a few of us went to menchies, a frozen yogurt place by the JCPenney where I used to work. Then we met another friend to go see star trek. My friend was so sweet and paid for my ticket. He didn't have to, but he did. It's so nice to see a man with manners.
So there you have it. I did however, get my space bags, address book, face lotion, and tide to go sticks today. So that means tomorrow I will probably start doing some packing. As in packing my clothes into my suitcase... but I mean I really have 22 days left. I might just wait until next week.
It's crazy. Only 3 weeks left.
3 weeks.
3.
Right now I am so super tired, but I will leave you with a spiritual thought.
Here is what I have been thinking about this weekend... relationships and marriage. If you're a church leader and you're reading this... hear me out and don't freak out before you read what I have to say.
I believe that a relationship should be based on mutual trust and love. Otherwise it's pointless. I personally have only dated 2 non LDS members in my entire life. Does that mean I don't trust non members? No. It means that I simply want someone who shares my values and love and affinity for the gospel. I know the church is true and I know that I want to be married in the temple and raise my children in the gospel. I know it is the way to having a happy family.
I personally believe that no relationship is complete without Christ. You must must MUST live the gospel even and perhaps - especially in relationships and dating.
I will broaden it even further. With ANYTHING you do, you must center it on love, trust, and the gospel. Or, Christ. When I do this I am much happier and successful in the instance.
I'm really so so so tired. I've been up for 18 hours, doing a ton the whole day. I'm sorry if that spiritual thought doesn't make sense. It may not. But that's what's on my mind at the moment.
So I am going to blog as often as I can and not vlog ever. :)
I will tell you what I did today. It didn't involve any mission prep at all. Just learning how to talk to people I don't know and come out of my shy shell a little.
I went to a YSA Memorial day BBQ with a good friend. I did not know very many people at all, but I ended up making some friends. And having a lot of fun. We ate first, then we went inside and played these awkward "team building" games. One of them was where there were two lines of people. In each line, there was a pattern of "boy girl, boy girl". We each got a tootpick. Then a mint started off in front of the two lines. The object was to pass on the mint (Lifesaver wintermint) with just the toothpick. But here was the rough part: we could not hold the toothpick with anything but our mouths. It was awkward and you were close enough to the person you were receiving the mint from or giving the mint to, to kiss them. Seriously. It was too close for words. I don't think I have ever been that close to a guy's face before without kissing them or them kissing me. But that's besides the point.
Then we played volleyball, which was a ton of fun. After that, a few of us went to menchies, a frozen yogurt place by the JCPenney where I used to work. Then we met another friend to go see star trek. My friend was so sweet and paid for my ticket. He didn't have to, but he did. It's so nice to see a man with manners.
So there you have it. I did however, get my space bags, address book, face lotion, and tide to go sticks today. So that means tomorrow I will probably start doing some packing. As in packing my clothes into my suitcase... but I mean I really have 22 days left. I might just wait until next week.
It's crazy. Only 3 weeks left.
3 weeks.
3.
Right now I am so super tired, but I will leave you with a spiritual thought.
Here is what I have been thinking about this weekend... relationships and marriage. If you're a church leader and you're reading this... hear me out and don't freak out before you read what I have to say.
I believe that a relationship should be based on mutual trust and love. Otherwise it's pointless. I personally have only dated 2 non LDS members in my entire life. Does that mean I don't trust non members? No. It means that I simply want someone who shares my values and love and affinity for the gospel. I know the church is true and I know that I want to be married in the temple and raise my children in the gospel. I know it is the way to having a happy family.
I personally believe that no relationship is complete without Christ. You must must MUST live the gospel even and perhaps - especially in relationships and dating.
I will broaden it even further. With ANYTHING you do, you must center it on love, trust, and the gospel. Or, Christ. When I do this I am much happier and successful in the instance.
I'm really so so so tired. I've been up for 18 hours, doing a ton the whole day. I'm sorry if that spiritual thought doesn't make sense. It may not. But that's what's on my mind at the moment.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Spiritual thought for today
Tomorrow would have been my mother's 40th birthday. I don't know how I really feel about that. I don't grieve a lot in public anymore over the loss of my mother. Actually I don't really grieve over the loss of her at all. Every once in a while I might have a pang of sadness. It is rare for me to break down in grief. But I do miss her every second of every day.
Sometimes if she would walk by, I would just walk up to her and hug her. Sometimes she would do the same for me. Most of the time we never said anything, just the hug and we would keep walking or doing what we were doing. That was our thing.
I remember 12 years ago (ish) one Halloween, my mom was 7 months pregnant. My sisters were tired, but I still wanted to trick or treat. She didn't get mad at me or say no, she just took me around. Afterward it was obvious that her back and her feet hurt. She didn't make me feel bad about it. She just did it to make me happy.
I remember when I brought ...home my white high school graduation robes. She smiled and said "FINALLY!"
Even in October, just 2 1/2 months before she died, it was the week of my 19th birthday. I had awful pain in my face from a cyst above my left front tooth and bad headaches because of my wisdom teeth. I was on vicodin the whole weekend and then on Monday I had a 2 (ish) hour last minute root canal done. It was painful and scary, but then three days later, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. The only thing I remember that Thursday when I got them pulled was my mom saying she was happy she finally got to take care of me in some way. She rubbed my back while I cried because my face hurt so stinking bad and I was confused because of the pain meds. She comforted me when I cried because I thought I wouldn't be able to go on a mission because they had pulled all the teeth in my mouth out (true story, I actually thought I had all my teeth pulled out and that I wouldn't be able to go anymore.). She bought applesauce and helped me eat it for four days.
I don't grieve, because I have all these memories. I had my time on earth with my mom. And now I get to look forward to my time with my mom in the Celestial Kingdom because I know that families are forever. That when we die, and others die, we are not gone. We don't just vanish, neither do our souls or our spirits. We are judged according to our works on earth. So I know that I will see my mom again because I will work hard to make sure I do.
For this reason, I don't have any regrets. I know my mom knew I loved her.
Sometimes if she would walk by, I would just walk up to her and hug her. Sometimes she would do the same for me. Most of the time we never said anything, just the hug and we would keep walking or doing what we were doing. That was our thing.
I remember 12 years ago (ish) one Halloween, my mom was 7 months pregnant. My sisters were tired, but I still wanted to trick or treat. She didn't get mad at me or say no, she just took me around. Afterward it was obvious that her back and her feet hurt. She didn't make me feel bad about it. She just did it to make me happy.
I remember when I brought ...home my white high school graduation robes. She smiled and said "FINALLY!"
Even in October, just 2 1/2 months before she died, it was the week of my 19th birthday. I had awful pain in my face from a cyst above my left front tooth and bad headaches because of my wisdom teeth. I was on vicodin the whole weekend and then on Monday I had a 2 (ish) hour last minute root canal done. It was painful and scary, but then three days later, I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. The only thing I remember that Thursday when I got them pulled was my mom saying she was happy she finally got to take care of me in some way. She rubbed my back while I cried because my face hurt so stinking bad and I was confused because of the pain meds. She comforted me when I cried because I thought I wouldn't be able to go on a mission because they had pulled all the teeth in my mouth out (true story, I actually thought I had all my teeth pulled out and that I wouldn't be able to go anymore.). She bought applesauce and helped me eat it for four days.
I don't grieve, because I have all these memories. I had my time on earth with my mom. And now I get to look forward to my time with my mom in the Celestial Kingdom because I know that families are forever. That when we die, and others die, we are not gone. We don't just vanish, neither do our souls or our spirits. We are judged according to our works on earth. So I know that I will see my mom again because I will work hard to make sure I do.
For this reason, I don't have any regrets. I know my mom knew I loved her.
во имя Иисуса Христа, аминь.
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