First Day of Fall!

  There's nothing I love more (besides my husband) than a rainy fall day. Today I decided to take a "mental health" day and do the things I love doing in the fall. Here's today's agenda:

Laundry
Dishes
Gym
Trail Run
Grocery store for baking stuff and dinner stuff
Open the blinds and watch the rain
Clean the house while listening to John Schmidt
Gym again!
Bake (Rice Krispie Treats today, GF of course)
Homework
Make Dinner

Tonight for dinner I'm making mashed red potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts, cauliflower with garlic, and tri tip.
Tomorrow I have my 3rd acupuncture appoint. I have to admit that I am terrified of needles, but the acupuncturists I've worked with have helped me so much. My visits are definitely worth it. As well as needles, they stick ear seeds in my ears. Basically they are little seeds taped to a certain point in my ear called Shen-men (probably didn't spell that right) and if I start feeling anxious or overwhelmed, I just push the seed to my ear and maybe roll it around a little and it activates the point and helps a lot. No side effects, unlike what regular doctors would give me. Did you know that a lot of anti depressants have the side effect of "feelings of suicide" or "feelings of helplessness"? Um... HOW IS THAT HELPING THE DEPRESSION???? Anyway...
The reason I don't post very often is because I'm in college now and I don't have like ANY time to post. When I am on the computer I am doing homework. I do a computer course online and I also attend a class for a program through Brigham Young University. It's called Pathway, and it introduces students into the University. Sooo I am a University Student :) First one in my family in a long time! I'm not bragging in the least, but I thought I would never get into a University because of how poorly I did in High School. School has always been kind of hard for me, but in my last year of High School, I graduated with a 3.2 cum. GPA. Which was a pretty extraordinary feat, considering I had something like a 1.6 GPA at the beginning of my first senior year (I went through 5 years of High School, had to repeat my senior year). Anyway, I'm really not bragging, it's just so cool to look back on where I was and how far I've come. I worked really hard during my last senior year and studied like crazy, and stayed after school nearly everyday for Algebra 2 (Math isn't my strong suit).
So there it is. I like being back in school. It's nice to be learning and working again.
Not going to let this rainy fall day go to waste, I'm off to do more of my favorite things :)

  I was going to do this really cool bike ride in the first week of september. I was going to do 54 miles around Mt. Adams here in washington. But I realized that while I am getting in better shape and losing weight, it would not be good for me to do this just yet. I would probably hurt myself doing it. I am super bummed because it's a gorgeous ride and I remember feeling really good after I did it. But I don't want to risk hurting myself. I'm nowhere near the shape I was in 2 years ago when I did the ride.
  I'll just have to set another goal and keep going to the gym and working on my goal. So far in the 2 weeks I've been working out I have lost 5 pounds. It's been really hard because I have an obstacle to overcome that makes me gain weight like crazy. I get the depo provera birth control shots. I've only had it done twice. But one of the side effects is weight gain. When I first got it in April of this year, I weighed 140 pounds almost exactly. I was still 5 pounds over the reccomended healthy weight for my age and height, but it wasn't bad. Then I gained 25 pounds. I was 165.3 pounds in July. Now I weigh 154. With the sudden weight gain I became lethargic, I got stretch marks on my upper legs, and for some reason I broke out with acne all over my face. I wasn't eating poorly either. I eat healthy everyday.
  My workouts are so random. I've gotten back into the habit of writing my workouts down and making goals of what I want to accomplish at the gym. My workout today will be legs/bum. Here's what I have planned:
  circuit @ Planet Fitness (only the leg machines and step boxes. Do 3X)
 Squats w/bar 2 sets of 10
 Treadmill walk 30 minutes

Pretty simple today. I did the full 30 minute circuit yesterday so I won't do the full thing again today. Tomorrow I'm going to do a big crazy workout because my husband and I are going out of town from friday to sunday so I won't have the gym or much exercise time while we're away.
I highly reccomend gluten and dairy free diet to those who want to lose weight and be healthy. You're basically limited then to fresh food rather than packaged and/or processed foods. You'll eat a lot of vegetables and fruits and I reccomend eating meat sparingly. I feel great and it helps me feel good enough to work out a lot and I always have a lot of energy.
There's also a couple challenges I'm going to try in september. One being the "30 day guns, buns & abs" challenge. Here's the image of what that will look like:

 

Sounds like a good challenge.

One more thing I really reccomend very highly: drinking lots of water everyday. Your face will brighten up and the bags under your eyes will start to go away. I guarantee your acne will get better the more water you drink everyday. And you will have more energy. I've also found that I eat less when I drink more water. 

Well, I have to go finish laundry, but I'll talk about my workout later tonight. I think I'll take a "before" picture too and keep that until a couple weeks from now when I can compare and see results. 

Thanks to my followers and loyal readers. I hope you are sharing my blog and reccomending it to others. I appreciate all the views and support I've been getting lately. It's awesome! :)

Why frustration gets you nowhere.

  In life there are lots of trials and frustrations we go through. And as human beings, we often tend to take out our frustration on people around us. A lot of times we take it out on the people who deserve it the least.
  I like to read talks on lds.org and the ensign often on how to strengthen my marriage and how to support my spouse. Our marriage is still only 2 months in and I want to make sure that there's no room for contention. I work hard to make sure I'm being honest and fair and communicating with my husband, and I work hard to listen to him and come up with solutions and talk things through before it turns into an arguement or disagreement. So far, the strategies I've used and he's used have worked wonders. In the time even before we got married we have had very few arguements. We have never raised our voices or shouted at each other (we both agreed before we got married that this would not happen no matter what). And we've worked hard to humble ourselves and see the other person's point of view.
  Sometimes though, depression gets in the way. Not anything to do with my husband. Just my depression. I've had to go through a lot of things in my life. Some things very traumatic and a couple very scarring things. I wasn't very good at communication (in fact it's still something I'm working on every day. Every minute.) and I bottled things up inside. I've gotten into an awful habit of working hard everyday to do something nice for my sweetheart, and then I get mad if he doesn't award me a frigging gold star. No really. Sometimes I get depressed because I create unrealistic expectations in my mind. I pump myself up and get so excited to see his face light up and get all kinds of hugs and kisses, and well... other things... just because I brought home dinner. You see why this doesn't really work?
  So that's my dilemma lately. Depression is a hard thing to conquer. Especially in a marriage. My husband doesn't ever do anything wrong when I bring home dinner or whatever. In fact he says "Oh thank you, this looks good." Or "Thanks, this is awesome." and eats it all happily. But in the alternative reality that takes over when I have depressive moments, I don't feel like he appreciates it because it wasn't how I pictured it in my mind.
  It's not about being recognized for something good you did for the person. If you want to do something for your spouse, you really shouldn't hold such high expectations in regards to how they react to your service. It will only cause you frustration which will probably most likely be taken out on them later. And that's counter productive, now isn't it?
  Anyway, I'm kind of ranting and just trying to get my feelings out there. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with going on the internet and researching how to make things work in a marriage. It's better to go out and search for a solution and humble yourself instead of keeping it all inside and trying to do it all yourself. Here are a couple websites I've found that I think have really sound advice. I haven't needed a few of them, I just think they're good informants. But a couple I have read and implemented.
http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2003/september/husband-struggle-depression.html?start=3
https://www.lds.org/manual/building-an-eternal-marriage-teacher-manual/respecting-your-spouse?lang=eng
http://alumni.iupui.edu/medicine/documents/Understanding%20and%20Supporting%20Your%20Medical%20Student.pdf  ** This one really helps me, my husband is a chinese medicine student and spends 80% or more of his days at school or studying. It can be really hard sometimes.

Well, that's all I really have. I like that my husband and I are so good at solving things together. Makes things a lot easier. Even on our rough days. Love him with all my heart. I'm so lucky.

Healthy!

  Yesterday my husband and I gave talks in church, and it was kind of awesome. We were struggling with what to say in our talks and finally I got mine done saturday night and he got his done sunday morning. But what was really cool was that we didn't read each other what we were going to say. But our talks complimented each other perfectly. His wouldn't have made much sense without mine and vice versa. It's so cool to be married to someone who is truly your best friend, because even though there are disagreements and sometimes fights, since you know each other so well you tend to compliment each other well.
  I just wanted to talk about something really cool. So last wednesday night I got a gym membership to planet fitness. I love this place by the way! And Thursday morning I went there weighing 158 pounds, did 12 miles on the bike and averaged about 5:16 per mile. Friday morning I did 6 miles and Saturday I also did 6 miles. Then today (Monday) I did 7 miles on the bike and averaged 4:28 per mile. Burned 174 calories and weighed in after breakfast at 154 pounds!!! **Note: I weigh myself at the same time everyday so I can get a more accurate measurement of weight.
  I just feel so good too. It used to be that when I would do the bike, my heart would race and would be at almost 180. Now the highest it gets is 150. I don't breathe as hard anymore when I bike, and I feel good. My mood improves all the time. I seriously reccomend gluten and dairy free foods with emphasis on fruits and veggies and eat meat sparingly. We eat tuna about twice a month and chicken once a week. It feels so good to eat so healthy.
  Anyway just wanted to share that and we'll see how this all shakes out after another 5 days of hard work and good eating. :)

A New Drug

  This is something that is not often seen by people as being an addiction. Pornography is something that can hurt relationships and give you false ideas of how you should be or what you should look like.
  Studies show that porn releases the same "pleasure chemicals" in the brain as drugs do. Crazy, right? Kinda seems unbelievable. At least, it did to me. I've learned how porn can affect a relationship/marriage. It sucks what it does to people. The worst thing is that people don't even realize it. People think that it isn't addictive and so they brush it off. Some people might actually watch porn on a regular basis without realizing how it's inadvertently warping reality.
  As unbelievable as it seems, the fact is, porn kills love. Let me explain:
  You've gone to the movies. Maybe you've seen the latest PG 13 movie with your friends or maybe alone. It was pretty cool with the CGI and the battle scenes. I know I like movies like that anyway. But what you don't realize is that 1 minute sex scene in the middle can have lasting effects on you. When you watch it, certain chemicals are released in the brain. These are the chemicals I talked about earlier. They help you to bond with other people and build relationships. They also make you want to do again whatever it is that is releasing the chemicals. Like if you love cheesecake, and you eat the most amazing one ever, chemicals can release into your brain that signal that you like it. It sort of rewards your brain with happiness. Kind of a weird way to put it but there you go. The end result is that you may end up wanting more cheesecake.
  The same thing can happen with that 1 minute sex scene in the movie. Of course in a PG 13 movie you don't see everything. In fact, you might not see very much at all. But without you realizing it, those chemicals are released and they sort of "reward" your brain, making your brain want more.
  So you go home and you might think about how awesome that movie was. Totally didn't even see the ending coming... or maybe you did, but it was still a good movie. Either way later on your brain might poke at your subconscious, seeking the "reward" it received earlier. The reward was the pleasure chemicals. So you start to think about the sex scene. Maybe by accident. This is where trouble can start. Curiosity is killer sometimes. And without realizing it, a person might go on the internet to reward the brain and run into pornography.
  Eventually after viewing porn many times, you are so high and full of the pleasure chemicals that if you all of a sudden stop watching it, you feel the effects. Like quitting any drug you can experience withdrawals and difficulty seeing things as they really are.
  The thing is, people might not think porn is so bad, because they've adapted to how society is. Society plasters sex everywhere. Movies, music, commercials, you name it. You see it everyday whether you mean to or not. It's a part of our culture now. But this can be dangerous for young and curious minds.
  The fact is that porn culture is everywhere. Be smart about it and take the time to realize that maybe there are things that don't need to be seen except in intimate times between you and a partner in love.
  Don't let yourself be under the assumption that it's okay to look at porn or accept that women are seen as sex objects.
  Be better than that. Life will be so much more awesome and full when you turn down the loud noise that is porn culture. You'll be able to see things as they really are. You'll be able to see yourself as you really are.
  Awesome and worth more than you know.
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  It's okay, if you struggle with this addiction, you really can get help. There are groups for this. Anonymous and helpful groups. Go to fightthenewdrug.org for info. It's such a helpful sight and explains things in a way everyone can understand.

New me carries 1,000 pounds of lead in 90+ degrees

This weekend I made a lot of last minute decisions to do things to change myself and become more domestic and interesting. For example: I bough a blueberry bush at the Farmer's Market yesterday. I bought it and picked it up, knowing that my little passatt was a quarter mile away and this plant was 40 pounds... I realized all too late that after 2 minutes of carrying this thing in the 90 degree, and irritatingly high humidity through a crowded farmers market.... the little 40 pound blueberry bush would become a 1,000 pound lead bush.
Needless to say, I took breaks on the way. On the second break, I was under a shady tree, watching people scurry around and fanning myself with my nasty sweaty hand. It dawned on me then... I own a 2001 dinky little VW freaking passatt. The blueberry bush was about 5 feet tall. I would be playing an obnoxiously real game of tetris once I reached my car. And I wasn't happy about it.
Anyway, after I got to the car, I opened the back door and just looked at it for a minute. Then I picked up the blueberry anvil and put the base of it on the ground at the foot of the seat in the back. I quickly realized there was absolutely no room in my entire back seat to even lay the plant down. So, I just left it upright and let the rest of it hang out the window.
After that adventure I took it to the side of my dad's house. He just bought a gorgeous house that has an awesome yard. The sideyard though, looks like someone, at one time or another, attempted a garden. There's pretty much just dirt, dust, weeds, and some dead grass that now resembles hay. I told my dad to come out and see the little bush and he laughs and says "You know, now that I look at it, it looks like the two bushes in the side yard." Sure enough, the only living things in my dad's side yard are two blueberry bushes. But that's okay. You always want to have the blueberry bushes be big and you usually plant a few.
So the reason I took it to my dad's house is because he wants to create a little garden type area. I am actually really excited about this and asked if I could help him. He works a lot and I don't have a hobby, so it will be nice and I love gardening so this will give me some way of being productive. Now I don't have to lay around in my husband's too-big sweats and watch Netflix all day. Woo!
Tomorrow I am going over to start by pulling weeds and pulling out the dead grass and planting my blueberry bush next to the other two. I'll post before and during pics of course. I am really excited about this project. My brother in law is sort of like a starting off farmer. He's really interesting actually and it's cool to hear about the stuff he does. Right now he has several tomato plants going and I think radishes and some other stuff too. And there are blueberries on the property as well.
That's all I have today, but tomorrow will be a much more interesting post with pictures and explanations on how I did things. I am probably going to go research some stuff on gardening too.
Cheers :)

Marriage, first of all, is awesome. I love my husband, he is my best friend and I just always feel so loved by him. He's a great guy and almost everyone he meets goes out of their way to tell me how great he is. I am so blessed.
However, my husband goes to college year round. So right now he goes to school everyday during the week all day. Then every other weekend he goes to extra classes for Qi Gong (like Tai Chi but more meditative) and to learn how to diagnose a patient by reading their pulse. He's a chinese medicine major. I actually love his major and think it's awesome. It has helped both of us with our health issues. Anyway, he is always gone. Which means it gets pretty lonely around. I started off the week feeling completely motivated. I would clean everyday and get laundry done. Which, I did. But then I would have hours and hours left in the day before my husband got home. So I read. And read. And read.
The other day it occurred to me: I don't really have any consistent hobbies. So in thinking about it, here are my mid year resolutions:
1.) I bought a book on "green cleaning" and I think just being more "organic?" in the home by taking out harsh chemicals you clean with and everything. Goal number one I think will be to read and implement.
2.) Hiking and taking walks more often, and biking. I decided that I would like to go to the library at least once a week, and the library is maybe a mile or two away. I have a bike at my dads house that I used to ride all the time. So I will get that back soon. And I love hiking and fresh air. We live in a beautiful hiking place.
3.) Cleaner eating. I like donuts. I like cheese. But I can't have either due to our gluten and dairy intolerance. But sometimes I cheat. Even though it hurts. But I am going to stop that and start eating better. Which means more homemade things hopefully.
4.) Russian studying. I served a mission in Samara Russia and my minor in college will be Russian Translation. I would like to study it everyday even before I go to college. Just to keep it in my brain.
5.) Blogging. I really do love blogging and at one point I had a blog that was fairly popular. But now I think that it would be cool if I became a consistent blogger again. I'm thinking 2-3 times a week. With recipes I tried, things I did. Maybe some DIY stuff. We'll see. But it will all be on this blog.
I like setting goals too, the above things are just a list of what I would like to start doing. Here are goals associated with them:
-ride my bike to the library once a week
-only eat junk food on one day out of the week
-drink at least two full water bottles a day (Drinking water is really important to health. And something I often forget to do)
-Blog at least twice a week.
-Study Russian for half an hour everyday
-Try one new recipe a week
-Clean something everyday
-Get in shape: to start with, take walks in the evenings with Corry. Do ab workout everyday, arms every other day and legs every other day. Start running everyday in 2 weeks.
-paint a big painting for my living room
-decorate the house, make it feel like an organized home
-attend the temple every other week
-read scriptures and pray everyday
-attend church weekly
-be more social. Go to Relief Society functions. Talk to people at church. Ask bishop about a calling. Invite the missionaries for dinner.
So there you have it. I guess thats what this blog will be all about. Me reaching my goals? Yeah. Sounds good.
Thanks for reading. I'll start with a blog post tomorrow (Saturday)